One thing that has been on my wife's and my mind is how this will affect our sex life. I have been trying to find sources on the internet to answer our questions as much as possible before we discuss this with my doctor or nurses. But most of what I am finding deals with couples in which the male had testicular cancer, or the female had breast cancer. It seems a lot of those discussions had to do with self-image.

In my case, I am wondering about the more technical aspects of the drugs I will have in my system and my risk of infections. I would appreciate it if anyone knew of an online resource to answer some of these questions. (Or may be able to directly answer them).

Specifically, here are the things on our minds:

1. I know that some of the chemo drugs that I receieve are very toxic. The nurses wore extra heavy rubber gloves when "pushing" them. I am concerned that these toxins could be in my semen and I expect I should use a condom. I have read in some places that contraception is advisable, but I gather that this is because it's risky to conceive at this time. But that is not a concern for us since she has had a hysterectomy. So is a condom needed to keep chemo from hurting her ?

2. Is it safe for me (the male) to perform oral sex on her ? Obviously, if she had an active yeast infection, it may not be safe, even if I did not have ALL. But is there any normal amount of yeast or bacteria that exists in a woman's vagina that would be risky to me
?

3. Is it safe for her to perform oral sex on me ? Answer is probably very related to that of question 1.

4. Or a more mundane question. What about open-mouth, tongue-kissing
? How risky is this for me to catch something from her ?

-This website might also be helpful: http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk/info/sexuality.htm

(And they do recommend condoms for a month after chemo.)

-That's the issue. The drugs won't harm your wife, but you don't want to get pregnant on chemo. It might not be a bad idea to use one, since many drugs and/or their metabolites can get into semen. Which drugs are you receiving? I could try to look them up to see if it is known whether they do get into semen, saliva, etc. in any important concentration (of course if she were allergic to any of them, that would also be a consideration and the concentration might not have to be that high). Here is one of the very few refs I could find about drugs getting into semen. Perhaps if you can get the original article from a medical library
(or through your public library's interlibrary loan system), it may list some of the drugs and you will recognize ones that you have taken.